Emara | Island News - Santa's Grotto- Breaking News!

Anonymous writes "Another surprise announcement, The Department for Reindeer Development confirms rumours that Santa's Sleigh has been taken over by the elves.
A spokesman said "There is absolutely no proof that Santa's sleigh was ever able to complete all the work in one night, or indeed that it was capable of carrying the amount of parcels needed.

Accordingly, it is being replaced by a 2001 Renault Megane Scenic with a winter carrying capacity of 50 elves. This service improvement has been authorised by the Merry Christmas Agency.

The present delivery service will now operate longer hours, but most children will have to wait several days to get their presents. We do not think this is significant.

The Department agreed this new timetable in consultation with the Reindeer Driver Carers Association.

We can also confirm that Santa Claus submitted a bid to run this new service, but it was deemed non-compliant as we suspected his beard was false.
A rival consortium of elves put in a bid and this was accepted, although no formal contract is in place. The new operator assures us that all performance and reliability criteria were met in their previous operation to carry Humpty Dumpty, and the problems were out of their control.

The winning bid includes provision of a new multi runner sleigh which is scheduled for completion in 2009. It is currently being constructed in the Peter Pan Shipyard in Never Never Land.*
This is being supervised by Captain Christopher Robin Hook."

We contacted Santa's Grotto for comment. Rudolf was not available, but Prancer and Dancer indicated that it was more than likely that redundancies would follow.

Reports are already in that a number of elves have been seen wearing cut-down pieces of Santa's familiar red and white uniform. An elf who did not want to be identified, told us they have to wear these, since this is all that Scrooge would provide....

*Second star on the right, and straight on till morning

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